Halloween decorations.

Some mornings we wake up in Korea and it looks like we are engulfed in a cloud. Not really a happy white cloud, but a gloomy rain cloud. That's too bad, because it's not helping Korea win any points.


So sometimes in Korea, we have to make our own kind of festive. And since we inadvertently left all the "fall" decorations back in a storage unit in Colorado, we are decorating with little girls...


Here's the new pose as demonstrated by Ruby. It's supposed to be some sort of ballerina move. It looks slightly awkward, but she feels stylish while doing it, so who am I to judge?!

Here's Jane taking stock of life within a rain cloud.

And here I captured a moment of play between the ladies. I thought it was entertaining to hear Jane repeating over and over again that she would come in and save her. Ruby thought she was stuck.

P.S.

It's my sister Rachel's birthday today.

I love you Rachel!

I'm not trying to brag or anything

But when it comes to choosing an eternal companion, I think I have some skills. Because this shirt came in the mail from mine, and I wore it all day long and thought I looked cute. And he picked it out, all especially for me. And we just have a really good thing going. So I think I proved my skills about that today.

And I'm not trying to brag about my family, but they are really funny, so I'm just proud to be one of them. And you should totally read this post about the ultimate Slurpee hunt. Because Rachel is too young to remember when our Uncle Tom used to take us to as many 7-11's as he could find, in search of our perfect Slurpee flavor, and now with technology and all, Rachel basically did the same thing on a global level. And that takes skills, and she's my relative. So I think I just proved my skills again.

And again, not trying to make anyone feel bad, but I think I know how to recognize the hands of angels all around me. Because I'm doing a single parent gig right at the moment, and I have lots of kids (do you want one?), and it can get totally exhausting. But today around 4:30pm, I was in an empty house. It was completely empty and silent, and it was 4:30 in the middle of the worst time of the afternoon. And at that moment I knew that angels fly all around me and love me and watch out for me. So again, I think I proved my skills (did I?).

The end.

Keeping busy.

Having not been raised to sit around and feel sorry for myself, in the absence of Major Earnest, I am busily trying to stay busy. Being blessed by a collection of moms who have been here much longer than I have, we were off on a "field trip" on Friday afternoon to the Songtan Botanical gardens. It was pouring rains as we were driving there, and the moms were panicking that perhaps our field trip was going to flop. But right as we pulled up into the parking lot, the rain stopped!

While we were trying to gather together our kids to get a memorial photo...

This lady was simultaneously trying to gather together her kids to get their photo.

I found her subjects to be infinitely entertaining. Who knew a country existed that sends two-year-olds on field trips to Botanical gardens, in matching outfits complete with matching backpack?!
These little ones were completely enthralled with Jane and Ruby. Too young to have the nerve to speak to my ladies, they would simply walk past and stare so hard they would nearly fall over. My girls couldn't understand the staring, so I kept trying to help them understand how different they look from each other. I'm not sure the lesson was learned.

The Botanical gardens were also the first place we have been here where we were actually mauled (maybe too strong of a word) by a crowd of teenage girls requesting photos be taken with our children. When one proud Korean girl yelled out to me, "Where are you from?", I could not resist yelling back, "CALIFORNIA!". The scream was one I would reserve for a rock concert or celebrity appearance of some sort. It was shocking! I thought one of them was about to faint.

To escape the teenage Korean paparazzi, we ran through a shrub maze...

(We may or may not have actually had to run through the maze to escape a mob. The details are not so important.)

Only after we were free of the mob, could Ruby find a rock on which to re-enact her favorite "Little Mermaid" moment. We cannot pass by such a rock without Ruby climbing upon it to sing.

She simply cannot help herself. If you could see her face, she is being completely serious and singing some sort of love ballad to Prince Eric.



Additionally, it helps immensely while trying to stay busy, to continue to receive packages in the mail! Upon returning home from our field trip, I found a package waiting for me from my sister and parents. After I opened the necklace my parents gave me, Jane insisted it was so beautiful she needed to take a picture of it...

and then the fun continued as Jane directed Ruby to pretend she was opening up a new necklace too...

Our busy fun continued throughout the weekend as the children tried vigilantly to take out and play with every single toy that we own.

As George rekindled his old passion of self-portraituring

And, as we loved the world of video conferencing with some of our favorite people on Skype.

And less you think that I am surviving quite well, I was still thoroughly missing Major Earnest on Columbus Day, so again I followed the caravan to a National park here in Korea to spend the day hiking about.

I guess it shouldn't be any huge surprise that the Koreans like to take pictures of us. I sure seem to get a kick out of taking pictures of them too.

And thus concludes the longest post ever. Like I said, I'm trying my hardest to stay busy, but all this busy making, has gotten me totally exhausted, so good night.

Here's how we have fun and feel loved in Korea...

We borrow a grocery cart from level 1, bring it up to the 3rd floor so that George can learn how to "Heeley" up and down the apartment hallways.




We teach 3 year-olds how to swim in the big pool. I mean, seriously swim. As in, they will not drown any more, at least not in this swimming pool. And now swimming is actually fun.

Here's how I'm feeling loved on the day after my birthday...

I'm remembering this cake and the friends who brought it over to share it with me last night. Who made me laugh late into the night and stayed all the way until it wasn't my birthday anymore. Thanks girls...



I'm wearing some new green pajamas from Kristine and Lisa which are making me feel very foxy indeed. I'm sorry that Major Earnest is missing their debut.


I'm smiling about the collapsible basket that Lori knew I would love and use all around town. But probably fretted over, as only Lori can. Lori, it's perfect!

I'm loving the sparkly bracelet that Renee thought would be pretty on me. And smiling and laughing about the tissues with my initial on them. It's a gift that only Renee could think of.

I'm delighted that Kim was inspired to get me a box to organize my bobbins into. How did she know that I've secretly been wanting to collect bobbin spools, and then secondly have a place to organize them? Kim doesn't even really sew, and I've never mentioned my thing about bobbins. And yet her gift is full of little things that only a sewer could love. She's just so darn thoughtful like that.

I'm loving that my friends sent me birthday presents in a box full of surprises for my kids. And that they are the kind of friends who love my kids probably as much as they love me. Those are the most amazing kinds of friends to have in your life.

(I'm not really loving the amount of lip gloss Jane thinks is appropriate. But we'll work on that beauty tip tomorrow...)

And as I head off to bed, I'm just not entirely sure that I've ever done enough of anything to deserve that kind of love being poured forth upon me. But I tell you what, those are the best kinds of friends to have. The ones that demonstrate so much love and compassion, and who in return make you want to rise up to become a better person.

Thanks to all my sweet lady friends back in The Springs (j/k). Life just isn't the same without you. I am indebted.

I'm not even kidding you.

Today as I was kneeling down on the floor in the girls room, to help Jane get dressed, my eyes caught hold of something sparkly in her drawer. And there, sitting on top of a pair of white sweat pants was my sweet wedding ring.

And just like that, my prayer was answered.

And here I had gotten myself all geared up to find it in ten years...

Lost and found.

Ruby asked me tonight in her sweet little Ruby voice, "Mom, can you buy me a playground? A really big playground? With a big, huge slide? But it could be mine? I could have it at my house?" And I thought that was so cute I should write it down and remember it forever.


And the other night after we were coming home from Darin's promotion ceremony Ruby said, "I know who sent daddy those flowers, they are from Jesus." Because the flowers came with a card stuck in them, and this is the picture of the guy on the card.

All these little moments, and all these little sayings, I don't want to forget.

So tonight, I was at dinner at a friend's house, and I thought I was fine, and then someone asked me if everything was okay? I smiled and said, "Of course." But really, something is wrong.

See in this picture?



On Thursday night I was wearing my wedding ring, and now three days later, I can't find it anywhere. And believe me I have searched. And I think after three days of worrying about it, it's finally beginning to weigh heavy on me. I hate to lose things. I really do. And why do we have to lose things anyway?

My cousin asked me if I had prayed about being able to find my ring. To which I replied I had. And all day long today I've thought I was being struck by inspiration and I would run off into a room and tear apart a bed, with such a burning hope that the ring was going to tumble down onto the floor.

But it never did.

I lost my wedding band, at my grandma Z's house. My grandma Z's house is the cleanest house on the the planet. And when I commissioned grandma Z with the task of cleaning and finding my ring, imagine the finality I felt in my heart when she called me back and said, "So I think you should check in the twins diapers this week. Because your ring is not in my house."

I knew it was lost forever at that point in time. But that was only okay, because I still had my diamond ring.

And sometimes we loose things around here, like wallets and keys. But then after fervent searching and pleading with twin three-year-olds, we find them. One time we lost the pet dog to the doll house. And that was sad for a little while, but then a month later, the little dog was found, smooshed into the pillows on the couch. So that was happy.

And then my cousin told me that her dad lost his wedding ring once for 10 years. And ten years later his wedding ring showed up in the house again.

So things get lost, and things get found. And something we write down to remember. And somethings we never write down and we forget.

But I just hope I'm going to find the last piece of my wedding ring somewhere in this house. Because some things really shouldn't ever get lost or forgotten. Don't you think?

Everyday should be like today.

A sweet friend gave Darin and I the gift of time together this afternoon. We found our way to the Seoul Flower market.

We unhurriedly walked up and down isles and isles of flowers and all sorts of breakable items, without a care in the world.

We purchased bundles of flowers.

We took in the scenery.

Then later on in the evening, after Darin took us out to dinner, he threw me an impromptu birthday party, a week early! He's going to be gone, and I think the guilt is plaguing him a bit, so he wanted to see the joy on my face when I opened

This...

And this...

Bon Voyage Darin. You are irreplaceable. Embrace the beauties, bounties, and smells of America for me, but please hurry back. Korea and I will be anxiously awaiting your return.

The BIG day.

A hearty congratulation is in order to our very own Major Earnest! Yesterday afternoon Darin had a "pinning on" ceremony.



He let the kids do the honors of pinning on the new rank. In exchange for good behavior I let them all enjoy the tasty refreshments that were served.



The boys made me proud as always with their exemplary behavior. We still have much work to do with our little girls. At one point during the ceremony Ruby escaped from me and walked up to stand in front of Darin and hand him a little Cinderella doll. And Jane spent a good two minutes twirling in front of the Lt. Colonel without any shoes on her feet, before I could pulled her back down on my lap.


Darin had assured me that we could not do anything "wrong" during his ceremony, so I was slightly relieved that at least we hadn't interfered with any protocol. Not to say that I was proud of the girls. I see more shaping and molding is required before sending these ladies out on their own!

A major milestone indeed. We're lucky to have Darin as our very own provider and protector. What more could a girl ask for?!

P.S.

A second "Miss Madeline" dress.

I know it's shocking to picture these two little angels causing any trouble at all!

The soundtrack of our lives.

Mine starts back around 1982 as a kid in a station wagon, usually on the way to our sail boat in the Chesapeake, or to our grandparents house in Philadelphia. The songs are either "I've Been Working on the Railroad", or "My Grandfather's Clock". Any rendition of either song transports me back to our Chevy station wagon, full of little kids, with no seat belts or car seats, but plenty of blond hair and smiles. "My Grandfather's Clock" can still give me chills, and it's funny now to think that it's such a sad song. As a kid, I don't think I knew what it was about, except that we said "grandfather" about seven times as we sang, and I loved my grandpa Widtfeldt and I was usually on my way to see him.

Then, if I'm ever walking through a department store and happen to hear in the background a song by Air Supply, I can actually sing along, WORD FOR WORD. Because I spent many a weekend nights in the '90s laying on the floor of Christy Goold's house listening to those songs, dreaming of who I would hope to dance with at the next church dance...Just go listen to the words of "Every Woman in the World" and tell me you can't remember being 14 again.

Or the song, "Feels Like Christmas" by Cyndi Lauper. Do you know it? With it's line "It don't matter if you're rich or poor when love comes knocking at your door." I can't listen to it without smiling and feeing 16 again. Sitting in Nancy's white BMW, driving through the streets of Old Town Pasadena. We probably needed to get bagels at Goldsteins. Or maybe she needed a car wash (she could only do that in Pasadena). Or frequently we needed to hunt for awesome vintage jeans at the Salvation Army. Nothing says being 16 to me, and feeling free like the lyrics, "Every time I see you, every time I'm near you, every time I hear you, I feel happy."

Or how about "Satellite" by the Dave Matthews band? Did you listen to that 65 times in a row like I did, as I drove off to my freshmen year of college with my older sister Sarah, and my mom. As I recall I had about four inches of space to sit in for that 12 hour drive. Every square inch of the mini van was stuffed full of stuff. Clearly essential stuff. We couldn't have left ANY of it behind. Somehow I remember feeling like we were all mad at each other. But really I imagine we loved each other more than anything else. I like to think maybe we were just stressed because moving is a beast, and change is always hard. And I remember my mom saying something to me like "I'd love to trade places with you." And at the time, I couldn't understand what she meant. After all, she already had everything I was at that time dreaming of having. But now, I think I get it. You only leave home once to set out on your own, and it is a magical time. How fitting that I was listening to that song, because wasn't my mom, after all, the satellite around which I was orbiting.

Songs from Innocence Mission and Sunfall Festival remind me of Provo in the fall. I cannot listen to either one without remembering the route I used to walk from my off-campus apartment shared by Liz, up to campus. Those songs still on my Ipod today, just in case I want to remember the years 1995-1999 and how much I loved BYU and the streets of Provo and the people around me.

Smashing Pumpkins remind me of falling in love with Darin. He had every single album, and for some reason I found it to be such a contradiction. He seemed so calm and quiet, and yet their music seemed edgy to me. But if I hear any of those songs, I can see him in glasses, with a baseball cap, Simple shoes, light washed, slightly tapered jeans, and a green hoodie. He had curly dark brown hair and if I could make him smile, his dimple would melt my 19-year old heart, which was certain I was NOT going to let him go.

There are a few years in there where I was sort of over my disc-man and massive stereo, and yet the Ipod had not yet been invented. I don't have a lot of songs for that time. But I sure did listen to countless hours of Rush Limbaugh and Dr. Laura.

But then just in time for my major years of running the Ipod was invented. If I hear "Under Pressure" by David Bowie, I can actually feel the pavement under my feet. I had undertaken training for the Salt Lake City marathon which would be my first marathon. I took my training very seriously, and never left home without a David Bowie tune to give me that extra get-up-and-go.

Or the song California by Phantom Planet, reminds me of running on a treadmill in my parents garage in La Canada. Darin was in the Middle East somewhere, and the words "California here I come, right back where I started from", remind me of the safe haven my parents had created that I could take refuge from single parenthood from by moving back home to. My little sisters were in high school, and it was good to be home again. I would frequently not make it to the treadmill until 10pm at night. Often my dad would be finding his way home sometime right around then too. More nights than not, he would say something to me like "Wow Annee, you have more energy than I could ever imagine". And that simple sentence would give me more energy than I could ever imagine. It's never been easy in my mind to impress my dad, and while I was only running for my sanity (and maybe to be just like my dad), as a separate benefit, I had impressed my dad with my stick-to-it-ness. And that made me feel proud and strong.

Anything by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, reminds me of running on the Santa Fe trail and falling in love with Colorado. We arrived in Colorado with all of our babies. But we were like little saplings looking for somewhere to place our roots. I feel like that's what we did there. I fell in love with my babies (all four), my home, my friends, the blue skies, and life was so full and blessed. We bloomed and I ran to music.

And this morning after dropping all of my children off at their schools here in Korea, once again I grabbed my Ipod and set off on a run. I wasn't sure that I wanted to run today. I was tired and hungry. But I turned on a song and it transported me somewhere, and suddenly the whole run was one song after another of memories. And I realized how lucky I have been. The songs are just the trigger. When I hear them they help me remember, but mostly the memories are filled with people. And I have so many people to love. So many ties that bind me and define me. So very many people to love.

The "Miss Madeline" Dress

My living room curtains and bedroom curtains remain un-sewn. Seriously, how could I concentrate on anything else, with this BEAUTIFUL fabric, and adorable pattern sitting in my sewing room?!

The girls watched my every move as this dress was coming along. They wanted to try it on at every step along the way.

When I announced that it was complete, Jane sprinted to me to be the first one to put it on. Of course I stressed over and over again that this dress belongs to both of them. But I can see already, I'm going to need a second one.

Good thing I got a good night sleep last night, I think tonight is going to be a late night. But totally worth it to see how excited the girls are about the little apron dress, in a new longer length. Perfectly irresistible for the new fall wardorbe.

I'm off to sew...

Dear Darin-

Who needs a 40" Sony flat screen HD TV?

From the looks of it, all your children need for some family fun is a sweet 7 incher and a bed to pile up on.

Love,
Annee