Progress report.

Hi.  Just checking in.  We still have six kids.  I'm still super tired.  

Some things will be the same at every progress report.  I think I just named the top two.  

New at this progress report is that I am now 35.  I had a sweet birthday.  I had my expectations in check to begin with.  How much can the people around you do for you when there are two tiny infants to maintain.  Darin let me sleep in as much as he could.  He even took Eleanor with him to do the morning school drop off, and stop at the grocery store.  When they got home, he cooked me breakfast, and suggested that we go to the mall that afternoon.  

Later that night, we had some friends, who also had a set of twins two years ago, babysit the new babies for us.  Though my older kids thought they were qualified, I believe their skills still need a bit of refining.  And Walter and Eleanor need a bit of refining too.  They are still mostly irrational.  After Darin and I dropped the babies off, we headed over to the Weathervane for the first time.  I was deliriously happy to be alone, without kids on my big day.  Or, maybe I was just delirious.  I work mostly on about 3-4 hours of good sleep per night.  My body has mostly adjusted, but every now and again it's hard to think straight, and I almost didn't stop at a red light the other night because my brain was having a hard time catching up with what was going on.  Kind of scary.  Kind of tragically funny.  I did stop at the red light in time, FYI.

A few days before my birthday the babies achieved their 4 week old milestone!  

Eleanor was having a hard time cooperating.  After a stern talking to, she was able to be a bit more friendly...

Walter was in an unusually pleasant mood.

The day before my birthday the twins turned 1 month old.  They got dressed up in their party clothes.  To the great delight of her older sisters, Eleanor wore a dress for the first time and everything!  But they simply couldn't get their act together.  Everyone was a crying wreck.  The photo shoot was cancelled.  

  

We tried to rally for the five week photo shoot.  Eleanor seems to always have an excuse as to why it's not working out for her.  Such a Diva.  

I was trying to illustrate their size difference this week.  At least their last weigh-in, Walter was a whopping 8 lbs 9 oz.  Little Eleanor was 6 lbs 13 oz.  

Maybe this picture illustrates that point better?!...

As part of the progress report, I still spend what feels like the majority of my day nursing the New Twins.  When I am particularly unlucky, I have to feed them in-tandem.  When that happens, I like to play a game, that Sarah and I started when we were canoeing 50 miles across the Great Lakes...it's called, "Would you Rather".  When we had entire days of rowing ahead of us, and only the two of us in the boat, we used to make up crazy scenarios and ask, "would you rather be canoeing across the Great Lakes, or go to school naked."  You get the idea.  In short, we thought canoeing across those still, still waters was about the worst thing that had ever happened to us.  But the game helped us realize that there was always something worse.  

Today's version goes something like, "Would you rather be nursing two babies who don't suck in tandem, or would you rather be a double amputee?"  

Keeps life in perspective.

Look how cute these guys were on the first day of 5th, 7th, and 2nd grades!!

Miraculously we've managed to send them to school everyday for the past six weeks or so.  Though unfortunately in order to manage such a feat, Darin and I have mostly had to split up at night.  He takes the blow up air mattress in the attic.  I take the two newborns in the grand Master Suite.  He has to set an alarm for 6:30am and pack four lunches, do hair, find homework, shoes, socks, and drive everyone to school.  I mostly just hope that a few hours a night coincide wherein me, Walter and Eleanor all sleep at the same time.  It's not ideal, but it's getting us through this first very difficult and very unusual stage of life.    I think he and I are both managing remarkably well considering last year Darin told the kids he "didn't know how" to pack lunches.  And I never would have thought I'd be able to live on three hours of sleep per night.  

And just like that, we are moving forward.  My mom always says, watching babies grow is kind of like watching the grass grow.  But somehow before you know it, they are in middle school.  

The End.

A new normal.

It's time.

I'm going to blog again.

I hope so anyway.

I want to do lots of things right now though.  But mostly my day is spent nursing, changing, swaddling, soothing, holding new babies!  Let's have a little look-see at the progress we've made so far.

It feels minuscule  but I think it's actually huge.  We are doing this.  We are raising TWO more kids.

Last picture of me 37 weeks pregnant with TWINS.  On September 7th, we were scheduled for an induction.  We were supposed to show up at the hospital at 10am.  Around 8:30 that morning, I got a call from the Labor and Delivery ward saying that they were completely booked, and over crowded.  They couldn't have me come in in the morning anymore.  They hoped that later on that afternoon or evening they'd have more room for me.  Talk about a crushing blow.  I wasn't sure I could be pregnant a minute longer!  To get my mind off of the tragedy at hand, I told Darin we'd better go to a movie and out to lunch for the afternoon, or else we could sit at home and watch me cry all day long.  As we were getting ready to leave, I started feeling more and more "odd".  Like super crampy, and tons of lower back pain.  I called the hospital and they told me it sounded like it could be labor, so I should come in and get checked.    After we got checked in to a temporary triage room, the doctor came in and did her assessment.  She said I was 5 centimeters dilated and having contractions two minutes apart.  Apparently even if the hospital is over crowded, if you are in labor, they won't send you away!  We got checked in and got a room.  The doctor said we would be having babies later on that evening.  I think I went into shock.

Here we are in the room.  Hooked up to 102 different monitors.  This is me after my epidermal  and after my complete meltdown that labor was taking entirely too long, and that I didn't believe that I would have babies that day!  

 But then, all of the sudden, my labor progressed at an alarming pace.  Even with an epidural, nothing could mask the pain and pressure of a baby that is wanting to make it's way into the world.  I got wheeled into the operating room, where they deliver all twins, in the event that an emergency c-section became necessary.

This was the face I made after I had successfully pushed Eleanor out, and realized that I had to still push another baby out.  At that moment, I wanted to push pause, and just go home.  I did not think I had enough strength left in my body to get another baby out.  I was definitely in full on panic mode!

This is my face after Walter was born.  I have never known such instant relief as when I had pushed Walter out and no longer had 13+ pounds of baby inside of my rib cage.  I just sobbed and sobbed with joy that it was all over.  I had avoided a c-section.  I had pushed two healthy babies out of me.  We had avoided any sort of emergency medical situations.  It's was too much to be grateful for.

The New Twins!

Eleanor Anne Earnest

6 lbs 1 oz.  

Born at 8:31pm

Walter John Earenest

7 lbs 1 oz. 

Born at 8:36pm

First Family Photo

Thanks to Grandma Z. who had gotten to town the night before they were born, and helped keep the big kids entertained all day long while they waiting for the New Twins to arrive.  

 

Posing with Grandma Z. on their first night home.

The next series of photos is just to help me try to see that we are indeed making progress:

 

I'm out of time.

Eleanor and Walter are currently re-enacting the above photo.  That means I need to go.  I hope we can keep getting things documented.  Maybe I'll even get ambitious enough to go backwards and pick up a few of the activities we did before the babies were born.  Maybe!

Over-and-out.

Z Sisters.

*we got an update from Ie Li.  It's added at the bottom of the post...*


Annee:

Last Week:

• Spring Break!  Monday the boys participated in a UNC study about boys, speech, and autism.  They were the "control" group :)  It took forever, but I think it's a good and random experience to have in one's youth.  
• Tuesday the boys had dental appointments.  After the dentist, we took a trip to the library to equip everyone with reading material for the trip to the beach the next day.  I was so proud to see each one of them pick out three books that they were excited to read.  A few were disappointed in their selections once they started reading.  You are always allowed to NOT read a book if you decide you don't love it.  But some books were real winners, and I think "James and the Giant Peach" cycled through all four kids.  I think it was voted Spring Break 2012's best book.  I love that they read.  Seriously, it almost makes me feel like I want to cry.  Why does it make me so happy?!  
• Girls dental appointments, and second day in a row of spring break breakfast at McDonald's.  The dentist office is right next door to a really nice McDs.  Too bad.  But convenient.  It helped make it feel like we really were on vacation.
• Got home from the dentist and had until 12:45 to do all the laundry, and then pack five suitcases for three days.  I was not excited about my chores.  But, I really wanted to impress Darin who has nearly lost all faith in my capabilities lately.  When he walked through the door at 12:45, I had all the suitcases lined up!  And all the excess laundry folded and ready to be the clean clothes for us when we got back from vacation.  I know he was super impressed :)  
• Went to the Outer Banks!!!!  We knew the weather forecast wasn't promising.  But, we were excited all the same.  Found a perfect hotelish/condoish place right on the beach at Nags Head.  We had three queen size beds and a loft in the one room.  It was ideal.  The hotel had an indoor and an outdoor pool, and was right on the beach.  We are happy we got the "off season" rate!  
• Swam at the pool right away.  The boys went down to report just how freezing the ocean and beach were.  Went out to dinner, and located Duck Donuts for the next morning.  Went back to the hotel and fell asleep, eventually...
• Next day, breakfast at Duck Donuts!  Off to the sand dunes for kite flying and running down hills.  It was a real highlight!  Kite flying has never been so easy. 
• Back to the hotel for more swimming, then on to mini gold.  Out to dinner at High Cotton, the same BBQ place we all went to on our last day of Beach Week.  Delicious once again!
• Friday's weather was supposed to be nice, so we packed out of our room, and checked out, but planned to use all the hotel facilities for the beach and the pool, until we had had our fill.  It was the perfect plan.  Drove by Duck Donuts and a light house on our way out of town.  It was the perfect vacation!  

This Week:

• Back to reality.  Four lunches packed, four back packs located, four kids appropriately dressed and fed, all before 7:30am!  Once again I fell asleep on the couch around 8:30.  That morning rush really takes it all out of me!  At one point before they all left for school, someone asked me if I could still touch my toes!  Rude.
• Random house organization and paper sorting to get us back on track for the week.
• Lunch date with Darin :) 
• OB appointment on Wednesday
• TWO baseball games!
• Subbing on Friday.
• Should make sure I take at least one, if not two walks this week.  I cannot start physically breaking down yet!  Must make it to the full-term finish line in good form.  
• Did I mention we bought a new van?!  I need to get the insurance switched over from the old van!  We started looking for used Honda minivans within a 200 mile radius of us.  We found a few really low mileage ones (which was our criteria) in Tenesse and Virginia.  We were ready to pursue either of those options, when one showed up in Chapel Hill with only 26000 miles on it.  For a three-year-old Honda, that's nothing.  It had been driven less than 9000 miles per year.  We predict it was owned by some old retired couple in Miami, Florida because we can see from the Carfax it was originally purchased in Miami.  We traded in our old Nissan Quest.  We got a few new upgraded features, including the long coveted leather interior.  But we traded out the DVD player, and didn't make that a requirement for the new van.  We bought the Honda since they are the only minivan on the market, other than Toyota (only as of 2011) that make the 8 passenger seating a standard option, and have been at least since 2008.  It will be filled to capacity all too soon!  

Ana:

Last two weeks:


-Dealt with Will being sick. I finally took him in to the doctor after a week of him being up 6-7 times a night. I figured I'd rather have a doctor check him out and waste our copay and feel silly then wish I had. Turned out he had an ear infection. It was not even on my radar. I have never had a single ear infection in my life and neither has Jack. Somehow I assumed Will would have the same luck (fingers crossed maybe Will wont have Jack and my puke gene at least). After just a day or two of antibiotics he was only waking once a night and was much happier with his life. I was much happier with mine too.
-Jacks spring break. It was a long week what with Will getting over being sick. Jack was a bit of a sullen teenager for a lot of the week, and it made me worry about the summer. His last vacation was so nice that I was expecting this one to be as well. By Wednesday he was out of his funk and enjoyed being home.
-Swim lessons and extreme Dodgeball class. I still have to force Jack out of the door for swim (which he loves once he gets there but refuses to go to) but he is the first one in the car for dodgeball. Evidently pelting other kids with balls is way fun.
-Tried to keep exercising. 17 more pounds to lose. Man that's still a ton. Ugh.
-Practicing sitting up with William. He is a bit behind in this I think because he's soooo long. He measured in the 99% for height and honestly is the size of most 1 year olds. Which makes it look even more absurd that he can't do things like sit up. He is such a patient and sweet child.
-Meet up with my grandmother and aunt in Irvine. It was my first solo adventure with both kids on my own. It was a long day. Mostly because I left at 9am to meet them at 12:30 despite it only being an hour drive and got home at 5:30. It made such sense as I got in my car and then was so absurd for the rest of the day. We just kept running more errands to try to fill the time. I made it to the rainbow outlet, Costco, trader joes, target and the grocery store. I forgot my keys in the rainbow store and my phone in the target shopping cart. But all in all it was a successful day. Baba is 88 now and these moments are precious.

Next week:


-Get re-used to the craziness of getting Jack and Zack up an out of the house by 7:30 each morning. That was one of the perks of spring break that I will miss.
-Exercise. I just have to do it. No excuses. I put Zack in charge of making us do ab workouts. He managed to make me do it twice last week. Hopefully he will be as persuasive next week.

Sarah:

Last Weeks:

• Had a successful Easter in spite of doing no planning or preparing until the day before. That being said, I'm pretty much ready to do away with the whole Easter Bunny concept. Any ideas how to phase that one out? Just seems like a silly tradition and a real distraction from the true meaning of the holiday.
• Spring Break! We didn't have any big plans, and I was a little bit dreading the week of nothing to do. On Monday I had the kids help clean the house in the morning and then we went to Boondocks Fun Center in the afternoon. On Tuesday I made them hang around and be bored while I supposedly worked, although that didn't totally work out. By Wednesday I'd had it it so I packed them up and we went on an impromptu trip to St. George. Scott had to work, but the Kendricks ended up coming with us and showing us the ropes in Zions, the Snow Canyon sand dunes, and Nielson's Frozen Custard. It was a low-key trip but successful in that everyone felt like they "did something" for Spring Break.
• Spent about 3 hours tonight catching up on my various email inboxes. Made significant progress although I could/should still spent about that much more again another day.
• Submitted our taxes. Looks like it's a nearly break-even year - yay!

This Week:

• More Rooftop planning. Hopefully we're pretty close to landing some significant sponsors.
• Summer planning - need to figure out dates for our trip to DC in August, Brenden (and maybe Oliver's) week at Camp Woodward in PA, and other summer activities. Need to purchase plane tickets and really make some commitments here.
• Work! My current project needs some serious catchup attention
• CARWASH! I can't even believe how disgusting my car is right now.
• Feels like kind of a catch-up business-type week. The weather's going to be beautiful though so I guess we should try to do something fun too.

Rachel:

Last two weeks:

• Worked a lot. Like 9am until after midnight every day. So there really isn't much else that got done!!
• I taught my Easter lesson to the 5 year olds. I am so impressed that they know these stories so well already. They're only 5! How can they already know everything! One boy always corrects me when I tell stories because he knows the scripture videos so well (i.e. I say an angel came and knocked down the guards and he says no, the guards were scared so they ran away. Haha)
• Easter dinner at Steve's house. Ken made scalloped potatoes. I made carrot cake cupcakes and deviled eggs. CZ stopped by with Jon which was so fun. I'm glad we get to be so close together. Mina is a ham these days.
• Stayed up way too late Sunday night watching Mad Men. Is anyone else watching this season?
• On Friday night we went to Ken's championship ward bball game. He got elbowed in the ribs really badly and is still in pain. Doctor says it could be fractured. Geesh!
• I had 9am conference calls at work almost every day last week. This is painful b/c on such little sleep it's hard to get right into the office at 9am. But it's a good way to get me up and there and working early so that's positive.
• A full week of dinners brought into the office last week. CPK, Corner Bakery, Maggiano's and PF Changs. It's really convenient, but also indulgent. Oh well, survival mode!!
• I walked to lunch at the grocery store on Friday and somehow lost my debit card along the way. Super annoying!
• Mom came to town on Friday!! We met up for dinner at the mall. Fun to catch up.
• Saturday CZ, mom and I drove all around looking at wedding venues. There are some great options out that and I think everything will come together.
• Saturday night we attended the Marriott School Alumni dinner in Arlington with mom. It was fun to see my friends and hear Condelezza Rice speak. Why do they always make this dinner in busy season??
• Sunday was more venue hunting, out to the Marriott Ranch. Would the Zackrisons know how to entertain ourselves without a beach?? Haha kinda funny to imagine us all on a dude ranch.

This Week:

• Tax deadline on Tuesday!!! We're going to make it!! Jeans day.
• I'll go to work on Wednesday to wrap up some admin stuff. Then I'll take Thursday and Friday off. Yay!!
• Submit my annual reviews to gather feedback. Always makes me nervous.
• I want to see Hunger Games this week, finally. Ken even read the book in preparation!
• Book our trip tickets. Also book CA and Utah tickets for June and July.
• My friend Kristen comes to DC Thursday to check out UVA's business school.
• We have several gift cards to use at restaurants around town like Chef Geoff's and Ray's the Steaks and a Crepe restaurant in Alexandria. I hope we get a chance to go to one this week.

Clean the kitchen and reorganize the fridge. Grocery shop. Plan meals for the week.
HANG UP MY CLOTHES. I have so many clothes all over the place in piles from being in survival mode last week. I need to do some SERIOUS clothing and shoe organization because right now I'm being a super rude roommate.

Christine:

Last Couple Weeks:


- Easter weekend I went to Morgantown after work on Friday and all day Saturday Jon and I went around looking at apartments. We found a few great places that we really like, now it's just figuring out what is absolutely necessary and what we want most.
- Spent Easter in Franklin with Jon's family. It was a great Sunday spent up at his grandparents' farm with his parents and his brother's family. I will admit I found myself missing our family quite a bit but overall it was a great Easter.
- Exercised once in the past two weeks, not so good.
- Went and tried on wedding dresses last Thursday, it wasn't that great of an experience. I really don't know how people go through this process and pick anything when the dresses you're trying on don't fit at all and likely will look completely different once the top is altered with sleeves and all. It seems impossible.
- Mom came to town on Friday! She decided last minute to come help move along the wedding planning. It was a huge help to know she was coming and to have her for the weekend. Friday night we all got together for dinner with Rachel and Ken and Steve and Ie Li and kids at Coastal Flats. It was delicious and always a good time with family. We spent all day Saturday and Sunday driving all over looking at possible locations for the reception. We learned a lot and saw a lot of interesting places and possibly narrowed it down to one really great place. It's hard for me to commit to things but we probably need to act fast since places typically get booked up a year in advance. It was definitely an exhausting weekend but I think overall it was productive.

This Week:


- I've been working in the office this past week and will get to stay in the office this week. It's nice to not have to go so far and it's fun getting to bump into Steve and Rachel in the halls again. Wednesday-Friday I have a training in the office.
- Go to the gym as much as possible.
- Pick a photographer. I know I need to nail one down for the wedding but more importantly I need one for our engagements so we can get those taken immediately.
- This weekend Jon officially becomes the Mountaineer. Unfortunately I'm not going to be able to make it to the big ceremony because of my training (boo work), but I'll go up Saturday for the Spring football game.

Ie Li:

Lately:

• We've been sick on and off for a month now. We're all finally better, but Mei Li seems to come in and out of sickness pretty frequently, and that worries me a little. Now that my infection is gone, the nausea and exhaustion seem totally manageable in comparison.
• A couple Saturdays ago, we spent the day as a family at the farm museum and neighboring grounds. It was the first day in a while that I felt like a human being. It was a really beautiful day and just nice to get out again. We ate lunch at Sweetwater Tavern afterwards, which is always delicious.
• Celebrated Easter with Rachel, Ken, Christine, and Jon. We did the Easter egg hunt before church and then the dinner after.
• I went to my first ultrasound last Monday and our little baby is so cute. The ultrasound tech said, "seeing these babies at different stages of development is so incredible. You just know that something else is out there." It was probably my cue to bear my testimony or something, but I didn't. I just watched with tears in my eyes and was silently grateful for another little miracle.
• I took the girls to the duck pond last Tuesday while Stephen was at preschool.
• Met up with Grandma Z, Rachel, Ken, and Christine at Coastal Flats for dinner on Friday night.
• Stephen had his first t-ball game on Saturday. He did a great job and he has a lot of fun out there. He looks mighty cute in his uniform.
• Saturday was in general just a really busy day. There was the t-ball game, going shopping for food for the homeless shelter dinner, browning twenty pounds of ground beef for the homeless shelter dinner, Mei Li's soccer practice, and then BYU Management Society Gala. I was pretty wiped out and sick by 6 PM, so we skipped the gala and went on a more relaxing date closer to home. We went mattress shopping, ate dinner at Noodles and Company, and then watched the Hunger Games. It was really nice.
• Steve made crepes for Rachel, Ken, Christine, and Grandma Z on Sunday night.

This Week:

• Tax season ends. Steve plans to take a couple of days off of work. We are going to reclaim our lives!
• Get our AC checked out. It looks like we're going to have to replace that too this year.
• Purchase a mattress. We discovered that my hip injury was caused by our mattress and not running. Our current sleeping situation is just unacceptable. I'm sleeping on a twin on the ground. Steve joins me sometimes, and it works out okay, but it is not ideal, obviously.
• Laundry! I am so behind.
• Prepare for Steve's birthday and then celebrate!

Easter at my house.

These are my peeps from Easter this year.  

The ladies sporting MOM made outfits.  My boys looking slick and fine.

Their dad matched his tie to them.  An Easter special.  

Funny how what used to look so full and complete, now looks like two are missing.  

Happy Easter.

It's been a while.

I have exactly two pictures filed under my March 2012 folder.  I currently have 8 filed under April 2012.  Maybe I should post all ten of those pictures and call it good?!  Here's the first picture in the March folder:

The other picture from March looks a lot like this one, only a bit closer up.  The closer up angle isn't doing any of us any favors, so we'll just leave it there in the folder.  March consisted mostly of more of the same routines of life.  Although Darin had his Earnest grandparents pass away, and that took him to Oregon twice within two weeks of each other.  During the month of March I was mostly only exhausted.  I really couldn't think past what was happening that very day.  You can read a few more details over at the sister post that my mom posted right HERE. (Sarah has the most recent sister post up.)

Towards the end of March I did start to feel better.  I passed into the blessed second trimester of this pregnancy.  The second trimester is harolded as the best part of any pregnancy.  I'm sure that will prove true of mine too.  I was making it through days without needing a nap, or multiple naps.  It felt like a new lease on life.  I started sewing again, which is always good way for me to add more joy and happiness into my life.

I went back to the doctor for another routine OB appointment.  I knew they would do another ultrasound, because with twins, it's impossible to distinguish two separate heart beats with that little fetal heart beat monitor.  I don't know why, but I was overcome with fear.  I had convinced myself that something would be wrong and I was going to have to prepare myself to deal with the emotional aftermath of crisis.  I told Darin of my foreboding.  I begged him to skip class and join me for the bad news.  He told me since he had already missed two classes in a row, that it was really important that he go to class.  He told me nothing was going to be wrong.  I still didn't believe him.

The OB walked into the room.  She was the same doctor who got called in as a second verifying opinion of the twin situation the first time around.  The one who declared it definitively twins.  She remembered me.  She wanted to chat, discuss things.  I only wanted her to get the ultrasound machine rolling and get the bad news over with.

She fired up the ultrasound machine while we did more small talking.  Had she taken my blood pressure reading right then, she would have been worried.  And then, all of a sudden, on the monitor I saw them.  Both of them.  Wiggling.  Hearts beating.  Four arms.  Four legs.  Little fingers, too small to count twenty.  Everyone looking like they were having a grand time in-utero.  I still start to cry just thinking about it now.  Never have I felt more powerfully connected to the powers of procreation.  There I was, a partner with God in the process of bringing more spirits into this world.  I felt so very humble.

The doctor said they looked as heathy as could be.  She wasn't even going to bother getting a heart rate on either of them because she said, "Just look at them".  And I was.  It was amazing.  For the first time I KNEW we were having twins.  I wished Darin could have been there.  Class had gotten out early, and he was trying to get there, but it didn't work out.  He'll see them later this month.

  
I guess that summarizes March in my mind.  It will go down as the month I suddenly got less tired, and the month I finally KNEW we were having our second set of twins.  I will always remember March.

George has started baseball again.  If you follow Darin on instagram, you can get the weekly pictorial update of that event.  His first game was tonight.  We all went and even stood in the rain to watch George score a run!  Maybe baseball won't be so bad after all?!

Jane planned Family Home Evening for us on Monday night.  She had a full paper full of plans and activities.  But she had forgotten about the treat!  She asked if we could go to our favorite Maple View Farm for their homemade ice cream.  It was a wonderfully warm April night, and neither Darin nor I had the will power to say "no".  We shortened a bit of her lesson to accomodate the travel time involved with our treats.  It was totally worth it.

Tomorrow is our first day of Spring Break.  We couldn't possibly be more ready for spring break.  We are heading to the Outer Banks next week for a couple of nights.  In the mean time, we will prepare for Easter (with a bit of sewing), enjoy sleeping in, not packing lunches, or needing to lay out outfits before bedtime.  We will enjoy doing nothing!  And just when we get tired of doing nothing, we'll head out to the beach.  I hope it all turns out as perfect as it sounds right now!

I think that's my update.  So many friends have told me they've been checking in on my blog to see how the news has settled in on us about the new twins.  It took me a while, but I am fully on board now.  I want nothing less than new twins!  It is all that my future dreams are made of.  But not my nightly dreams.  Please tell me when you are pregnant you have crazy dreams too?!  Tell me I am not alone in this weird stage of pregnancy.  The most remarkable dreams from this week, were first when the elementary school (where I had been spending a great deal of time up until this pregnancy) thought I had gotten a job at the zoo.  When I walked in one morning to volunteer, everyone I walked passed was asking me about the zoo.  It took the whole dream to sort out why everyone was asking me about the zoo, to get to the bottom of the scandal, and then to inform everyone that in fact I didn't get a new job at the zoo.  But last night's dream was so bad, I woke up at 5am and didn't want to go back to bed because I didn't want that awful dream to come back.  It was all about Darin getting a sudden and rare incurable disease from which he would die in a week.  We had one week to sort out all the details, say our good-byes, and all the while he was getting progressively frail and sick (in my dream).  It was so awful!  I was constantly crying.  And for some reason, his sickness just made him grumpy so he forgot to be nice to be in his last week alive on earth.  I'm telling you, morning couldn't come soon enough.

Oh boy.  I hope I look back and laugh about it all someday!   I nearly woke him up at 5am to make sure the dream wasn't real.  Then I thought about how in real life, he's usually a pretty nice guy, but not if I woke him up unnecessarily and way too early.  So I let him sleep and just checked my email instead.

Our in-depth "anatomy" ultrasound at UNC hospital is schedule for April 26th.  Mark your calendars!  I'll see you back here then.  Happy Spring Break!!

Life as we know it.

A few things in my life feel like they became irrelevant on Wednesday.  Here is a small list, in no particular order:

1.  My subscription to Runner's World
2.  My seven passenger mini van
3.  Pinterest
4.  My leisure time.
5.  Feeling like I am in control of my life.

I think those are the main ones that come to mind.  A few others float into my mind, then float back out almost as fast.  The ability to focus is temporarily missing too.

For about a year now, I've wanted to have another baby.  It's hard to narrow down exactly what it was that most compelled me towards that decision.  I think it mostly felt like a constant thought.  Like a thought you have at the tip of your tongue, like you feel like you need to tell to your most significant other, often and repeatedly.  My significant other wasn't on the same thought.  He was certain I was having a mid-life crisis.  Maybe he thought I was ungrateful for this priceless gift of time together that we've been given since moving here to Chapel Hill.  Maybe he thought I wasn't able to appreciate or live "in the moment" enough.  Or mostly, he was probably being a little more rational than me.  It really did feel like my new thought was a glassal disruption in the system.  A tsunami type storm, in an otherwise peaceful sea.  Why did I need to rock the boat?!

To be totally honest, I don't even know how Darin's thought process on the subject went.  All I know is that one day, he agreed with me.  I never looked back, flinched, second guessed or inquired.  I just moved forward.

I got pregnant.

We were pretty excited.  We had a new vision of our future.  It involved a bustling but manageable family of seven with five years of overlapping togetherness.  Then slowly, one by one, and then two by two, they would start leaving, but we'd have one more to hang on to, to stay young with, to continue to grow as parents with.  It felt so beautiful and right.

I knew that there was a slight chance it could be twins again, 8% to be exact.  Our first set of twins were completely spontaneous and unexpected.  But honestly, it felt so spectacular that it would happen again that I seriously didn't worry about it.  My sister-in-law who is married to Darin's brother, she has two sets of twins sandwiching the two singletons that she had.  That is a remarkable story.  I've told it often and repeatedly to anyone who wanted to listen to twin stories.  I knew that she took the double twins for this family.  I just KNEW it.  Another sister-in-law had twins, but then had two singleton births after.  Never repeating her tricky twin trick.  I felt very confident.

Darin had to leave town, but I had my first OB appointment.  I contemplated momentarily changing the appointment, but then decided there would be nothing that would require Darin's attention at this first appointment, and so I went alone.

After going over my complete OB history with the doctor, she agreed that we should do an ultrasound to simply rule out the nagging possibility of there being two babies in there.  She was so certain that we would find only one, that she was making Las Vegas jokes about odds, and gambling.  I was laughing right along with her, because I'm totally a numbers girl.  I get 8%.  I know what that means!  She starts scanning the uterus.  A baby is found.  A heart beat is found.  There is measuring taking place, and other scanning.  But it was really weird because almost every time she tried to focus on the one baby and the one heart beat, the screen kept trying to be split with what appeared to be another baby sac.  And then suddenly I saw two beating heart beats on her screen, AT THE SAME TIME.  I said, "What are we seeing?!  Why does it look like there are two?  That can't be right.  That just can't be right.  What are the odds?!  I mean, I know the odds!  Why does it look like two heart beats?"

She totally froze.  She was more shocked than me.  She said, "Let's not jump to any conclusions.  I'm not sure if I'm reading this right.  Let's bring in another doc.  She's better at reading these early ultrasounds than me.  Just wait here, and do not panic."  But she froze the image on the screen.  The one that looked like two babies, two sacs and two heart beats.

Unbelievable.

The other doctor walked in, did a quick look at the screen and said, "Yep, that's two".

I don't really remember the rest of it.  I was so shocked and confused and busy trying to remember why Darin wasn't there.  And I kept thinking the ultrasound machine was broken.

Obviously, it is meant to be.  Two are coming together, again.  And that is how it's supposed to be.  And we are thrilled, and blessed, and excited.  But the shock is just so shocking.  And the shifting of perspective takes times.

So many new things to worry about.  So many things to wonder about.  Two babies need to now arrive here safely and well.  One body needs to do that for them.

I've only cried once.  It was after I read a note from my parents about how much they loved me, and how proud of me they were, and how they knew I could do this.  I had to cry then because it's going to be hard, but we're going to do this again.

Darin's still out of town.  Won't be back until next week sometime.  We chat here and there.  Every time the conversation inevitably comes back to, "how did this happen?".  Or the other variation of our conversation is, "Did this really happen?  Is this real?".

I had to send him the picture.  The one I have taped up in the kitchen, that I look at five times an hour, just to remind myself that this did just happen, and that this is real.  We're doing this.  Again.

We're not joking.

Darin and I had been working on a little something for a while.  On Valentine's Day, we decided to let the kids in on our surprise.

I baked some mini sugar cookies and put a single letter on each cookie.  If the kids could figure it out, there was a message written on those cookies...

The team got to work, cracking the code.

At this point we had to make a little correction, or else they never would have figured it out...

Until they finally got to this message:

Which at first, no one believed.  Henry declared it not possible. But then, after swearing we were not joking 100X, they finally believed us and all started smiling and laughing.

I know it's pretty early to make such an announcement.  I've only got two months under my belt, seven more to go.  But if you were judging by my belt, you wouldn't believe it's only been two months!  

This crew will welcome one more, at the end of September.  

At least we think it's one.

We will confirm this week that it's not another set of spontaneous twins.  There is a 1 in 12 chance that it is.  The boys have a $1 wager on the ultrasound outcome.  George believes it will be two.  Henry thinks there is no way we'll have two sets of twins.  According to him, "we're just not those people".

I hope he's right.

Surprise :)

7.

  There has been a lot going on here lately.

Today, my ladies turned 7.  We went out to an early dinner here with the family.  When ordering, it was asked how old they were, to which I promptly replied, "They are 6".  They both looked at me wide eyed and said, "Mom, we're 7!".

And so they are.

To celebrate, we headed up to Virginia to spend the weekend at the American Girl Store, and with their aunts, uncles and cousins.

We left promptly after the Friday night piano recital where everyone performed beautifully:

Arriving four hours later at Aunt Rachel and Uncle Ken's house.  We woke up Saturday morning to cinnamon roll waffles, and homemade pancakes.  We rendez-voued with Aunt Christine, Aunt Ie Li and cousin Mei Li at the American Girl store around 11.  It's sort of like being in an alternate reality there at the American Girl store.

Lucky for us, we were perfectly capable of handling it!

After spending HOURS in the store, picking out the perfect birthday presents, and taking all the dolls to the salon:

We really needed to be done in the American Girl world and find some real food for the real people.

Apparently the dolls were enjoying lunch just as much as the people.  Jane found the camera!

Sunday dinner at Steve and Ie Li's:

and a picture perfect cake by Aunt Rachel

Made it the perfect way to turn 7, if you ask me.  

Even though, I'm still having a really hard time wrapping my brain around that number!  Thanks to the VA crew for making it memorable.  We love you all!!